She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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