Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So many bounce houses so little time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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