so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
