you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
