Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
