you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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