my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
