2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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