Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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