Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
