What tipped you off? The sombrero?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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