I have demons in me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
