in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
