her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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