Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
