shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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