return my video game
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
