so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Moan for me like Helen Keller
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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