I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
