Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
