thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
