So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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