she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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