Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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