i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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