hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
