i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
