Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize