i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
