cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
