Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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