i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
