Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
