Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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