small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
