Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
