since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
