remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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