I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
