Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
