omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's great music for shaving your balls
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
