too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
