And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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