I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A+ Viking dick
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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