Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
