And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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