You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
