Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
