May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
