YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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