the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
