They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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