Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
