IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
