my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
