Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
