Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
