laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
