I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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