do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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