Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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