Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
