I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
