To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm too high and old for this...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
