Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
