I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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