My nipple is on Facebook.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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