I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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