Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
