so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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