you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
